Nighttime has been rough. With your growing independence, bedtime has become more and more challenging. You want to brush your teeth on your terms, take forever to pick out your favorite jammies, and start snuggle time when you feel fit.
This evening was especially hard; listening was not part of your plan. Several “it’s time for bed” were issued and disregarded, it was late, and we told you there was no time to read your special “wall book.” You were not happy. There were tantrums and crying, and emotions were high.
After a complete meltdown, you finally agreed to come snuggle, the hysteria ended and your breathing returned to normal. After a few minutes, you turned to me and said,
“Mama, I needed a few minutes, I’m ok now.”
We talked about how not getting what we wanted sometimes made us feel disappointed, angry, and sad.
You told me “I’m still sad I didn’t get to use my wall book. Little people cry and get sad.”
Oh, little one, we all cry and get sad sometimes.
As I said my goodnight I told you how much you make my heart happy. You asked,
“Daddy and baby too?”
“Yes, daddy and baby make my heart happy too.”
“My heart is happy too mama”, you said.
I’m proud of both of us in this moment. You were able to express your frustrations and overcome them, and I was able to remain calm enough to allow you to feel fully. In the end, the tantrum turned out to be a beautiful lesson and an even more beautiful moment.
When we let go of control and give permission to ourselves, and our children, to be present in the moment we allow emotions to complete their intended cycle. We hold space, feel, and move on without pushing aside or fighting what needs to be processed.
Motherhood has been one of my greatest challenges but you, my sweet girl, have been my greatest teacher. Thank you for continuing to help me grow and for showing me the way to a more conscious, present way of living.
While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is all about.Angela Schwindt